14963050_1335687763188075_146208531_nBOONE, NC– As the Presidential election nears its conclusion, a thick smog had settled over Boone, which can be assumed to be a sign from God that the end is nigh.

With the choices for president being Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, Gary Johnson, and Jill Stein, voters are glad to finally see a veiled message from the Almighty Creator signifying that this is all almost over.

“I’m kind of hoping that He destroys all life on earth, but I guess we’ll find out by 10pm tonight,” said Sophomore Herbert Swan, clarifying that he will most likely settle for the elections just being ‘fucking’ over with. “I voted for Hillary two weeks ago, but I no longer can bring myself to give a shit.”

“Yeah, if I see one more factually inaccurate meme, someone will pay,” added fellow Sophomore Kevin Borsch, explaining that he hopes the prophecy includes all post-election bullshit coming to an end as well. “No matter what, there’s going to be a solid two weeks of bitching of some kind from all sides so hopefully God doesn’t let that happen somehow.”

Other students, however, believe that the smog is a sign that their specific candidate will win.

“Well obviously God would only cover our town in smoke if it meant that someone as sexist, racist, and inept as Trump was about to be elected,” said Junior Bethany Fredette. “He’s trying to tell us to do everything in our power to ensure a Hillary Clinton presidency, so I’m about to up my social media harassment 10-fold.”

“Actually, it’s God trying to tell us that Crooked Hillary is about to steal this election,” retorted Senior Calvin Brinkle. “I know Trump has his shortcomings, but he tells it like it is. All Hillary does is lie and cheat, so God doesn’t want her in the White House.  

At press time, Ray’s weather had reported that the smog was a result of wildfires in Western North Carolina and Eastern Tennessee and is in no way related to the election.