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BOONE, NC– Citing a desire to reinforce the differences between those that live in The Standard at Boone and the others, The Standard at Boone confirmed that they are indeed planting a variety of flowers throughout the property to keep out the smell of poor.

“This way our residents are not only fiscally superior to this filthy community, but aromatically superior as well,” said manager Jerry Brinster. “The flowers will all have a sense of elegance to them, both to ward off any lingering smells of the working class and as a way to intimidate any poor people who may be thinking to enter the building for one reason or another. They’ll help people know before they are even inside whether they truly belong or not.”

“We’re not sure sure exactly what flowers to plant yet,” continued Brinster, adding that he’s particularly fond of chrysanthemums, “but I think we are certainly going to have one of those canopy things where couples get married and stuff. That’d be pretty fancy, huh?”

Some residents at The Standard appreciate the gesture, enjoying the fact that they are reminded of their privileged status.

“Oh, how I would adore waking up to the fresh scent of chrysanthemums in the morning!” said student Felicity Evans. “If they could ever be so kind as to plant a fig tree outside my bedroom, I’d be ever so grateful!”

Other residents, however, do not appreciate management assuming that they do not like the smell of poor.

“What the fuck does that even mean?” said student Olivia Thompson, adding that she works two jobs and puts herself through school. “I don’t appreciate people assuming I’m wealthy because of where I live.”

“Yeah, there’s a bunch of douches here, but we aren’t all like that,” added Frank Henderson. “Sure, my next door neighbor has a Mercedes, but I only have a Subaru.”

At press time, Brinster assured the residents that the flowers will be planted within the calendar year, but to not hold him to that.