BOONE, NC– In a situation shareholders are calling “a real head-scratcher,” last month’s merger between the local Auto Bell and neighboring Taco Bell has proven to not be as good an idea as originally thought.

“We figured it would be the ultimate convenience,” said Taco Bell franchise owner Harry Graham. “People like clean cars and people like tacos so who wouldn’t want to eat a taco while watching someone else wash their car? It seemed like a no-brainer!”

The issues reportedly became apparent when Autobell workers started confusing things like tubs of gelatinous refried beans for soap, and cups of nacho cheese for car wax.

“It was a few minutes before I realized one of our workers was just smearing a burrito all over this one customer’s windshield,” said Autobell manager Lindsey Banes. “I don’t know how he got it, but now I’m concerned that there’s someone out there who got a sponge in their taco party pack.”

The Mexican fast-food giant has received no less than a dozen lawsuits over customers consuming or almost consuming toxic car-wash chemicals.

“I found one of those New Car scented pine tree air fresheners in the middle of my crunchwrap supreme,” said local man Charlie Fowler, admitting that he ate it all anyway. “It was disgusting, but it could have been worse, I mean, the Taco Bell could have been combined with a Kentucky Fried Chicken.” 

At press time, the shared building was in the process of being re-purposed as a combination of Long John Silver’s and a Shell gas station, which store owners expect to be far more successful.