Boone, NC- Dazed and confused, freshman Mark Kramer took an unexpected turn in Anne Belk Hall Wednesday, reportedly breaking the laws of physics and stumbling upon a small, slightly functional black hole.

“I was heading to my Global History class and I had no idea where I was going,” said Kramer, who made the critical mistake of taking a right turn instead of three consecutive lefts while on the wrong floor. “So I got off the stairs, took a right, and there, staring straight at me from the inside of a custodial closet, was a giant swirling vortex.”

“ I thought I was goner, until I realized it shot me out into a corner of a classroom down the hall.”

Kramer isn’t the only one to encounter bizarre things in Anne Belk Hall. Various other students have reported finding all sorts of incredible things, including the formerly lost scrolls from the library of Babel, Paul McCartney’s Hofner bass guitar, and Amelia Earhart, completely unscathed.”

~ Piece contributed by Jake Edmondson ~