IMG_4269BOONE, NC – Last Thursday ASU students and faculty were shocked when freshman Brad Humphrey fell into a deep and seemingly irreversible stupor in a McAlister’s booth. Humphrey reportedly power-thrusted thirteen cups of macaroni and cheese down his ambitious throat in less than ten minutes, resulting in a slight seizure and then complete immobility.

There has been no word on Humphrey’s condition except that he is being nursed back to health in his dorm room by his apparently very qualified and enthusiastic girlfriend, who happens to be a nursing major.

“He seemed fine at first, just really full,” reported Humphrey’s girlfriend, who was with him at the time of the incident. “But then he started twitching, and soon afterward he just kind of stopped moving and just sat there, motionless, hands on the table, mouth slightly open. We maintained eye contact the whole time, it was terrifying.”

McAlister’s manager Freddie Daze replied to allegations from students that their macaroni and cheese is “too damn good it’s dangerous” by simply stating that it is up to the freshmen to avoid these health complications by consuming McAlister’s food responsibly.

We here at the Rotten Appal suggest maintaining a three-cups-in-one-sitting maximum so as to avoid the same food-induced fate as Brad Humphrey.