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BOONE, NC– Due to an uptick in progressive attitudes throughout campus in recent years, local social justice warriors have felt pressure to implement a safe-space to specifically exclude cisgendered, heterosexual, white allies.

The safe space is named after a local social justice legend, Trisha Prince, who reportedly harassed a cisgender, heterosexual white woman on Facebook who had shared an article about women dyeing their armpit hair and captioned it: “gross.” Prince rose to social justice fame for relentlessly arguing about the patriarchal standards of beauty in the comment section of the post for 48 hours straight.

“We just felt the need to remind students who are supportive of social justice causes, but aren’t people of color, LGBT or trans-identifying, that they are basically unwanted gutter trash and can add nothing to our fight,” said local person with an undercut, Logan Griswald. “It’s imperative that those types of people stay separate from us and our issues.”

“As a homosexual person of color, I find it offensive when those people come into our space and act like they’re friends with us,” said founder of the Prince Center, Preston Andrews. “Like, call me when you’re oppressed.”

The establishment of the Trisha K. Prince Center for Exclusive Inclusion has of course alienated some former allies.

“I was just there to help,” said ex-LGBT center volunteer and straight white guy, Nate Rhein. “They said I’d never truly be welcome in the community. I didn’t ask to be born this way…I just wish to God that I was at least bi or even a quarter Hispanic.”

At press time, due to complaints from former volunteers, students in charge of the Prince Center had agreed to allow several average-identity students to volunteer there under the condition that they first flog themselves for their inherent privilege and duct tape their mouths shut at all times.