Fernandina Beach, Florida– Citing the abnormality of finding an aquatic mammal with such specific taste, marine biologist Stacey Fredrickson has observed a snobby dolphin that only eats designer plastic bags. “I’ve never seen an animal display such a keen awareness of the pollution around him,” said Fredrickson, recalling how she has observed more than one occasion of the highly intelligent animal ignoring perfectly edible plastic bags from retail stores such as Target or Wal-Mart and opted to instead feast on the sturdy, well-made plastic bags from name brand designers such as Calvin Klein or Armani. “Most marine life I’ve documented eat plastics on accidents, mistaking them for food they’d usually eat in the wild. What makes this observation so incredible is that this dolphin not only has discerned a difference between the plastic bags, but consciously chooses to specifically eat the plastic bags from high-end fashion boutiques. It will take further study to figure out exactly why he does this, but the current consensus among the scientific community is that expensive stuff tastes better.” At press time, a fellow marine biologist had observed similar strange behavior from a sea turtle who only eats Trojan condoms.