BOONE, NC —
 In what experts are calling a ‘groundbreaking collaboration,’ biology and anthropology students worked together last weekend to document the tendencies of Homo fraternums, more commonly known as the ‘frat star.’

“This is the first comprehensive study of the Homo fraternums and its related species,” said anthropology Professor Dr. David Jameson. “It is rare for universities to allow this kind of research to take place, but the fraternums destructive presence has overwhelmed the campus enough that the chancellor has given us special permission to study them.”

Professors and students from both departments said they are looking forward to being able to explain the rituals and mating habits of the Homo fraternums.

“So far, we have learned that being ‘swole’ is of high priority in the Frat Star community,” said Junior researcher Olivia Kimes. “Each specimen spends at least an hour a day lifting large weights and angrily dropping them down in a display of strength and power.”

“They also seem to be doing this ground indentation in order to have a place to nest and ultimately reproduce,” continued Kimes. “However, further study is needed to determine if they will have the ability or desire to secure a long-term mate.”

As the project progressed, it became apparent that some researchers had a personal stake in the long-term observational study.

“I’m willing to spend as much time as necessary to find out the truth about the fraternums,” said Biology professor Stephen McManus. “Maybe one day I’ll understand why Cindy left me for that scumbag from Alpha Sig. Fuck you Brad.”