BOONE, NC — After months of deliberation, the people of Boone have unanimously decided that Jimmy Smith Park, on top of being a national landmark, is “fucking incredible.”

With over two rocks, some grass, and even a bench, the park is nothing short of spectacular.

“Some of my fondest memories as a student are my many sexual escapades in Jimmy Smith,” said alumni Gary Cobb. “I railed a chick on the park’s bench back in ‘09.”

Although the park is an ideal place for impromptu sex sessions, its sheer vastness has led to at least eleven people getting lost in the park over the past three years. Recently, however, these safety issues have been resolved by Administrative Assistant to the Parks Department Sharon Greer.

“Beginning in the next fiscal quarter, the park will be equipped with eight new park rangers, four ATV’s, and two helicopters for the search and rescue squad,” Greer said. “We want our patrons to enjoy the park without fear of becoming lost or unable to find help.”

The newly hired safety staff, although aware of the dangers the park presents, is excited to be working at what some consider to be the 8th wonder of the world.

“As soon as I heard about this place, I quit my job at Yosemite to come here,” newly hired park ranger Eric Stein told reporters. “I can’t wait to protect and serve the Boone community.”

In March, the National Parks Service will reportedly be coming to Boone to award Jimmy Smith Park the prestigious “Theodore and Franklin Roosevelt Award for Excellence in Recreation and Park Research.”