4268421623_ea6f218a02_oBOONE, NC— The devastating news having just traveled from Greensboro to Boone, it now appears that the upcoming funeral for App State Freshman Adriana Roth’s recently deceased grandmother has been scheduled for the fucking weekend. “I couldn’t believe the news when I heard it,” spoke Roth of the devastatingly unfortunate time of the funeral. “I have a biology exam on Friday. Friday! Would that not have been a fine time to have this? But no. It has to be on the day after.” The tearful student added, “It just pains me to even think of it. Instead of skipping my Friday classes, I guess I’ll instead be skipping Cara’s rager that she had invited me to! It’s so unfair!” At press time, Roth was weeping into her pillow as she recalled all of the things she would never get to do with Cara at the party.