339596698_314f8798e9_oBOONE, NC– Following a growing demand from students, Goodwill has initiated plans to redesign their Boone locations with the goal of relocating the less desirable lower class families from the stores so that students can shop in comfort without having to see them.

This change was spearheaded recently by the App State club Students Against Poor People (SAPP), whose main goal is to eradicate the visibility of the less fortunate.

“All of us here at SAPP are really passionate about the changes coming to one of Boone’s primary shopping destinations for cheap flannel shirts and DIY costumes,” said SAPP leader Hailey Denton. “We feel that the relocation of the poor people from the popular sections of the store will promote respect among different economic classes, from afar of course. Just so long as we don’t have to interact with that riff raff directly.”

When asked about reparations for the Boone lower class, Denton stated, “If they’re poor, they shouldn’t even be shopping for luxuries like retro clothing and old CDs at a place like Goodwill.”

So far, employees and regular patrons of the local Boone store have mixed feelings about the upcoming changes.

“I’m just frustrated that us regular folks are losing our dibs on all the cool shit they got at Goodwill,” said frustrated local Bobby Marcone. “I mean, how are they even going keep us out?”

Goodwill has since issued a statement explaining their current plans for how to keep the hoi polloi out of sections of their stores:

“AppCard swipe locks will soon be placed in front of our stores’ most popular sections in order to prevent the interaction with the proletariat whilst students shop safely.”

Meanwhile, Goodwill reassured its patrons that anything left in the dumpsters out back is free game for anyone, regardless of income.