yosefcaged

BOONE, NC– According to Watauga County Animal Control, a untamed Yosef was discovered by hikers yesterday morning deep in the Appalachian State Nature Preserve. The finding comes as a shock to much of the local zoological community who believed the last known North American Yosef had been domesticated for collegiate use.

Standing at an intimidating 6’10”, the Yosef is easily identifiable by its disproportionately sized head and overly greasy beard.

“I was just strolling through the woods, and I saw him engaged in this weird territorial cheering routine,” said sophomore Mike Dominguez, who first discovered the creature. “He was pretty startled when he saw us and ran away. Luckily, it was pretty easy to follow his tracks.”

Currently being held at the Watauga Humane Society, the Yosef is now highly sought after by numerous departments of the university for research and study purposes.

“This discovery has the potential to change everything we thought we knew about the Yosef,” explained Dr. William Scotch. “We constantly see that, compared to his domesticated counterpart, the wild Yosef is much more sporadic and unpredictable. For instance, the feral Yosef has thus far refused to dance no matter the type of music we play for him.”

“On top of that, we’ve been exploring the possibility of breeding the feral Yosef with the domesticated one,” he continued. “No one’s ever seen Yosefs mate or give birth before, so to say this would be groundbreaking would be an understatement.”

University scientists now expect to use the feral Yosef at the first home game of the season in an experiment to hopefully see how the two Yosefs differentiate.

“We’re really interested to see how he will react,” he said. “We’re holding out hope that he gets the crowd going so we can have an home Yosef and an away Yosef, but we will see. At the very least, we hope he doesn’t kill anyone important.”