BLOWING ROCK, NC — In an attempt to connect with an ever-more progressive-minded consumer base, local drug dealer Chet Martinez has begun offering certified fair-trade marijuana sourced from local, wage-paying growing facilities.

“I’m happy to announce that beginning in April, through a partnership with Fairtrade International, I will now only be offering free-trade, locally sourced cannabis,” Martinez said. “Now, my customers can rest easy knowing that they are getting a premium product with no question about where it’s coming from.”

Martinez explained to customers how each baggie of marijuana comes with a fair trade sticker proving its authenticity.

“At my supplier’s grow house, the plants are treated with the utmost care by the hands of fairly-compensated workers to guarantee a great quality high,” explained the socially conscious drug dealer, “and best of all, our product is only slightly more expensive than those of my competitors with none of the moral conflict!”

Already, Martinez’s customers have been praising his choice to sell from a more humane producer of marijuana.

“When you’re dropping the hard cash for some space kush, you get to have the peace of mind knowing that the people on the other end of the herb are living good,” said local stoner Mike Johnston. “I know now that [Martinez] cares about those less fortunate.”

“Like, one time he gave me an eighth for 45,” added frequent customer Jack Gordon. “It was kind of dry, but it just shows you how much he cares about the little guy.”

With planned expansions coming soon, Martinez hopes to add more fair trade products to his selection, including a potential competitor to Boone’s sources of highly controversial “blood meth.”