CAPE CANAVERAL, FL — In a compromise called “beneficial for all parties”, Chancellor Everts has recently received permission from NASA to allow parking on the moon for home football games.

“We heard the students cries for fair parking during home football games,” Everts wrote in a mass email, “So now every time there is a home game, we will strap rocket engines, powered by eco-friendly jet fuel, to all cars parked in areas needed for football fans and launch them to the moon. Parking space is plentiful up there and, best of all, this outstanding service will be free for all students!”

The plan, which moves cars 238,900 miles from their original location, has been received with mixed reviews from students and teachers alike.

“Even though my car is currently passing through earth’s atmosphere,” teacher Brandon Cardinal said, “I was blown away with how efficiently run a school offered service operated!”

“My fucking car is on the moon,” Junior Eric Browning said, “How the fuck do you think I feel? I was 2 minutes late moving my goddamn car and I watched it fly away into outer space.”

Unfortunately, some of the cars that have been launched into the vast emptiness of space never make it out of earth’s orbit.

“I got a call the other day from the US Embassy in Japan telling me they had impounded my Range Rover,” Senior Joslyn Maroney sighed, “Apparently, it crashed in the middle of Tokyo leveling a city block and now they’re threatening a nuclear war unless I’m extradited.”

Although there has been no official plan from Chancellor Everts to bring the cars back to earth, she has ensured the student body that Appalachian State is currently working with NASA’s top scientists to find a way to return the space bound cars in some sort of condition at the conclusion of the football season

“If you would like your car returned before then,” she detailed in a second mass email, “A document will be attached with the British Space Programme’s contact information, who have agreed to help panicking students in exchange for 12 easy payments of $1.2 million dollars.”