Sports & Entertainment

NFL Under Fire for Body Shaming at the NFL Combine

NFL Under Fire for Body Shaming at the NFL Combine

INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA – As the NFL combine comes to its conclusion, the NFL is facing a serious new issue. It’s not domestic violence nor does it have anything to do with head trauma, but rather, the scrutiny they are facing has to do with body shaming. “Rich Eisen called me a really big boy,” Oklahoma’s 6’6, 334 pound defensive tackle[Read More…]

February 23, 2015 Sports & Entertainment
2015 Granny Awards Headlined by Martha, Doris

2015 Granny Awards Headlined by Martha, Doris

February 9, 2015 Sports & Entertainment
NFL Player Taken Into Custody as Protective Measure

NFL Player Taken Into Custody as Protective Measure

New York City, New York – Current NFL free safety Braxton Mills Jr. was reportedly taken into custody by police this morning on suspicion of committing eventual violent crimes. The reports revealed Mills’ apprehension was a preventative measure intended to protect the welfare of any civilian who was in his general vicinity. “We stopped and frisked him because he looked[Read More…]

February 9, 2015 Sports & Entertainment
[TEAM] Takes Home Super Bowl [ROMAN NUMERAL] Title

[TEAM] Takes Home Super Bowl [ROMAN NUMERAL] Title

[TEAM] Takes Home Super Bowl [ROMAN NUMERAL] Title GLENDALE, AZ — This year’s ultimate football showdown came to a thrilling conclusion with the [WINNING TEAM NAME] capturing the coveted Lombardi Trophy by triumphing over the [LOSING TEAM NAME]. [WINNING TEAM] capped off a long season and an intense playoff run with the victory, their [NUMBER] Super Bowl win, along the[Read More…]

February 2, 2015 Sports & Entertainment
UNC Athletes To Dress Up As Real Students For Halloween

UNC Athletes To Dress Up As Real Students For Halloween

CHAPEL HILL, NC – Student athletes at UNC-Chapel Hill are dressing up as something that terrifies them most for Halloween – real students. Since the yearly celebration falls on a Friday, athletes will have the chance to really get into character and actually attend classes. Junior Marcus Paige and starting point guard for the basketball team commented, “I’m very much[Read More…]

October 31, 2014 Sports & Entertainment
Appalachian Basketball Star Weighing Multiple Recruitment Offers From Peewee Teams Across Nation

Appalachian Basketball Star Weighing Multiple Recruitment Offers From Peewee Teams Across Nation

BOONE, NC – Saying that he’s thrilled to finally graduate and begin his new life as a sports phenomenon, senior Appalachian basketball star Mike Schuler is weighing a multitude of recruitment offers from peewee teams across the nation. Amazed by Schuler’s undeniable aptitude on the court and exceptional knack for dribbling multiple times in succession, coaches from a plethora of[Read More…]

October 20, 2014 Sports & Entertainment
White Athlete Not Held Accountable for his Actions

White Athlete Not Held Accountable for his Actions

BOONE, NC — Recent allegations against superstar athlete Michael Phelps are reportedly being dealt with by law enforcement in a “quiet” and “low-key” manner appropriate for the punishment of wrongdoing by a Caucasian athlete. “It’s not like he punched a baby or something,” said Baltimore Police Chief Harold Fraser. “All he did was drive 40 miles per hour over the[Read More…]

October 6, 2014 Sports & Entertainment
Ha’Sean “HaHa” Clinton-Dix Frustrated No One Will Let Him in on the Joke

Ha’Sean “HaHa” Clinton-Dix Frustrated No One Will Let Him in on the Joke

Ha’Sean “HaHa” Clinton-Dix is a 6’1”, 208 pound starting safety and first round draft pick for the Green Bay Packers. He can bench press 225 pounds 11 times and run 40 yards in 4.58 seconds. But recently, he revealed the struggles he’s had to overcome to get to where he is today in a tell-all interview. “It’s been following me[Read More…]

September 22, 2014 Sports & Entertainment

Man Finally Understands Consent After Receiving U2 Album He Didn’t Ask For

BOONE, NC – Sophomore Dennis Becker used to be like Rush Limbaugh, Ted Akin, Cee Lo Green, Robin Thicke, and a host of others whose views on consent have often been publicly questioned. He used to hold beliefs like “its not rape if she didn’t say no,” “she shouldn’t have worn that short skirt,” or “she was asking for it.”[Read More…]

September 22, 2014 Sports & Entertainment, Student-Life
NCAA Investigating 6 Year Old Basketball Phenom Jackson Parker Amidst Academic Fraud Allegations

NCAA Investigating 6 Year Old Basketball Phenom Jackson Parker Amidst Academic Fraud Allegations

WAPAKONETA, OH – Six year old basketball phenom Jackson Parker has recently come under scrutiny from the NCAA after claims surfaced accusing the YMCA standout of academic fraud. Parker, a local celebrity, has been heavily recruited since coming out of infancy. He is a physical freak, for lack of a better word, standing at an imposing 4 feet tall towering[Read More…]

September 15, 2014 Sports & Entertainment