Local

White Activist Sues ‘Racist’ School Over Fried Chicken Fridays

BOONE, NC – Student activist and all-around good person Cassie Johnson has recently filed a lawsuit worth up to $6 million against Martin Luther King Jr. High School citing “blatant racial intolerance and discrimination” for allegedly serving fried chicken every Friday. Johnson, a white, suburban female decided to sue after campaigning mercilessly for “at least two weeks” trying to get[Read More…]

October 13, 2014 Local
Local Atheist Finds Image Of Nothing In Toast

Local Atheist Finds Image Of Nothing In Toast

BOONE, NC – It is being called the miracle on Blowing Rock Road.  Twenty-two year old philosophy major Noah Lott was brought to his knees this past Saturday when he discovered an ominous message in his morning breakfast. “I had just gotten up from a night out drinking with my friends,” Lott said. “Then I went to put a couple[Read More…]

September 22, 2014 Local

Parents To Let Their Kid Believe In A Higher Power For A Few More Years

MENTOR, OH – A local couple has boldly stated that they plan on allowing their son Brady, age 8, to continue his childlike belief in a higher power for a few more years. “It’s not like this is unusual for a child of his age,” said the father to reporters. “I could always tell that Brady was going to be[Read More…]

March 25, 2014 Local