BOONE, NC– Citing an uptick in mistreatment of student beepers, a beeper union has been formed to ensure that they don’t have their rights as an American Worker encroached upon.

While terms are still being negotiated, newly elected union president Scott Ganaway promised that from this point onward, all beepers will be ensured a fair healthcare and dental plan. Ganaway added that he is already planning on fighting for paid maternity leave as well.

“We are uniting to protect the rights of beepers to make sure they’re never taken advantage of again,” Ganaway said at a support rally this morning. “No longer will customers skimp out on their payments or vomit on the back seat without serious repercussions.”

The decision was met with some praise from disgruntled beepers who felt that this move could help fix the broken system.

“At least now everyone will hopefully pay the full two dollars,” said Junior Chandler Blecher. “I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me they have no money after I’ve already driven them somewhere. It was really annoying.”

Many students, while excited about the prospect of not being taken advantage of, still remain unenthused about the idea of unionization.

“So there are apparently meetings we have to attend now? I mean, I’m already kinda busy,” said beeper Brody Shardin of the newly formed union, now simply called Local 8657. “The idea seems cool I guess, but I only ever beep when I want to buy some weed.”

Already, several students have reported noticing a distinct change in attitude among certain beepers.

“My beepers sometimes never showed up,” recalled Freshman Alex Crandon. “They still don’t show up really, but now when I get annoyed they tell me they’re in a union and to take it up with the president. So that’s something, I guess.”

At press time, the union president was seen rallying the members to demand at least six weeks of paid vacation time for every employee.