1. The Booze – There was so much booze, man. So many people were sooo fucked up.
  2. The Weed  Dave gets his weed imported from a weed place and it was the best shit I’ve ever smoked. I was SO cross-buzzed.
  3. The Reanimated Corpse of Ronald Reagan – How fucking cool is Ronald Reagan though? He was so fucking hammered that he took out his zombie dick, slammed it on the table, and screamed “I am the reanimated corpse of Ronald Reagan.”
  4. The Ladies – There was like a 42-1 ratio of girls to guys, dude. Like, I’m pretty sure I hooked up with like 1000 chicks.
  5. Tom  Tom is the fucking man.
  6. The Mariachi Band – He had live fucking music dude! The best Mariachi band in Boone! They were so dope! Totally tubular!
  7. The Food  He had Tostitos so you fucking know we turned up with that shit.
  8. The Board Games  We had the raddest game of strip monopoly I’ve ever played. It took like 62 hours, but it was fun as fuck.
  9. The Dog  Dave’s dog is such a savage dude! Like, this moherfuckers name is Tito and he humps everyone! Such a bro.
  10. The Educational TV Programming – PBS was on non-stop. So rad.
  11. The Light Switches – He had these personalized light switches, which I’d never seen before. They blew my fuckin’ mind, man.
  12. The Pudding  Holy fuck, I don’t know if it was homemade or what, but it was the fuckin’ yummiest stuff I’ve ever had.